Marriage and Family

Cohabitation and Marriage
•Up until the 1960s it was expected that young people would not have sex before marriage.
•Most would be married by 25
•Only one or two sexual partners in a lifetime
•Most houses had a mother, father and children

Attitudes have changed
•Most have sex before marriage
•Average between 6-13 sexual partners
•Acceptable to cohabit
•Av age for marriage 29-31
•Only a minority of marriages take place in a church
•This has led to more sexually transmitted infections

Christian attitudes to sex outside marriage
•Christians believe pre-marital sex is wrong because:
•Sex was given to humans by God for procreation (making babies)
•The Bible says fornication (pre-marital sex) is sinful
•All Christians also believe extra-marital sex is wrong as it breaks wedding vows, is against the Ten Commandments and is condemned by Jesus

Sikhism and sex outside the marriage
•Sikhs believe sex should be totally restricted to marriage
•Pre-marital sex, cohabitation and adultery are all forbidden
•The Gurus restricted sex to marriage
•Rahit Maryada says no sex before marriage
•Family is the centre of Sikhism
•Adultery breaks the marriage union

The purpose of marriage in Christianity
•God created man and woman for each other
•Four purposes to marriage
•1: To have a life long relationship of love and faithfulness
•2: To support and comfort each other
•3: For procreation of children
•4: To bring up a Christian family

Christian marriage service
•Priest welcomes
•Emphasis on the purpose of marriage – God is part of marriage and it is for life
•Readings from the Bible
•Exchange of vows
•Exchange of rings
•Prayers asking God’s blessing

Purpose of marriage in Sikhism
•Union of man with a woman – both of them with God
•To bring children in to the world
•To have Sikh children and a Sikh family
•Uniting two families

Features of a Sikh marriage service
•Bride & groom stand in front of the Guru Granth Sahib
•Prayers are read about the duties
•They are asked to fulfil responsibilities
•Groom’s scarf is placed in the bride’s right hand
•The Lavan (wedding hymn) is sung
•Gifts are exchanged and there is a langar.

Changing attitudes to divorce in the UK
•Before 1969, difficult to get a divorce
•Now it is accepted as normal
•This is because:
•Legal and financial barriers removed
•Expectations of marriage have changed – women now equal
•Women are no longer dependent on men for money
•People live longer and are married longer so more likely to divorce.

Christian attitudes to divorce
•Two opinions
•1: Catholic Church does not allow divorce. Will allow an annulment – Jesus taught divorce is wrong; couple have made a covenant with God and it should not be broken.
•2: Most non-Catholic churches say it is wrong but if it is the lesser of two evils it is ok. Jesus allowed divorce in another part of the Bible for adultery. Christians allow forgiveness; better to divorce than live in hatred.

Sikh attitudes to divorce
•Most Sikhs are against divorce – two bodies united can’t be split; Gurus did not divorce; Rahit Maryada disproves of divorce; family pressure
•Some believe it should be allowed if the marriage clearly failed – living in hatred brings bad karma; if the couple can’t have children; common in Britain so British Sikhs starting to adopt.

Changing nature of family life
•Changes of attitudes to sex changed nature of family life
•Up until 1960s most lived in a nuclear family
•Still most popular
•Extended family more popular
•Single parent families
•Cohabiting parents
•Re-constituted families

Christian teaching on family life
•Marriage = children
•Children should be brought up in a secure Christian environment and love God and Jesus
•Children should respect parents – instructed by the Fourth Commandment and by St. Paul
•Treat children well
•Provide children with necessities
•Raise as Christians
•Children eventually care for parents

Why is Christian family life important?
•Family created by God as the basic unit of society
•Children learn the difference between right and wrong
•The family is where children are introduced to the faith through baptism


Sikh teaching on family life
•Parents provide necessities
•Children should obey and respect parents
•Children should eventually look after parents
•Parents should teach Sikh beliefs and how to be a good Sikh
•Children should be sent to the Gurdwara to learn to read the Guru Granth Sahib
•Parents should set a good example

Why family life is important
•Family created by God as the basic unit of society
•God is present in the home and the Guru Granth Sahib refers to God as our father and mother
•Family is where children learn the difference between right and wrong
•Family is where children are introduced to the faith – naming ceremony, praying, gurdwara, festivals, etc

How the Churches help with the upbringing of children
•Provide Christian education in Church schools
•Classes given to prepare for communion and confirmation – teach right from wrong
•Sunday schools
•Youth clubs – keeps kids off the streets
•Cubs and Brownies – community service and charity
•Priests/ministers give advice to families
•Provide charities to help family life

Sikhism and the upbringing of children
•Gurdwaras run classes to teach young Sikhs
•Kids participate in festivals and worship
•Special classes for children wishing to join the khalsa
•Gurdwaras provide social activities – for a Sikh social life and to keep away from bad influences
•Sikh day schools
•Gurdwaras have family advice and special funds